Autumnal drumroll, please: It’s Food Writer Jordan Baranowski’s perfect day of eating

Courtesy Jordan Baranowski

Grab your flannel shirts and your mittens—we’re in full-on fall mode. It’s that time of year when the only cooking I ever want to do is a large pot of something that takes minimal effort and will nourish me for several days. Otherwise, I want all of my food handed off to me, preferably while sipping a warm (or warming) beverage, while fretting about the next time I need to step outside. As such, let’s plan out the ultimate fall day of eating, drinking, and being merry.

Official disclaimer: We are imagining an ideal world. One where I do not get full. I do not get intoxicated. Transportation times are nonexistent, nor are menu prices. And I certainly won’t feel the effects of any of this for days afterward. Like Goldeneye’s Boris Grishenko, I am invincible.

Let’s eat, baby.

The Morning Pastry Jamboree

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. They are wrong.

Before breakfast, there’s an even more important meal—one packed with butter and sugar and sausage and all sorts of other goodness. That’s the Morning Pastry Jamboree. Once you’ve had that, you can take a quick nap before enjoying your normal breakfast.

The Morning Pastry Jamboree is best enjoyed at home, but the pastries are best obtained elsewhere. For my money, that elsewhere should be Blackhole Bakery. I’m more of a savory Jamboree guy, and Blackhole has an awesome selection of spreads for their incredible bagels, sausage rolls, and savory croissants. They also pack a nice punch of sweet selections. Mochi donuts are an acquired taste that, once acquired, you’ll obsess over. Fresh fruit galettes and danishes abound. And if you’re really lucky, they’ll bring back the Berries and Cream Croissant on special because—and I am not being hyperbolic here—it is literally one of the best things I’ve ever eaten. If you know me, you definitely know that I’m a little lad who loves berries and cream. Bring those pastries home, turn on some French Café Jazz, and eat yourself silly.

Blackhole Bakery // Photo by Sarah Sipple

The Coffee Addendum

Everyone’s morning bevvy desires are different, and I feel like I need to clear the air about my personal preference: Breakfast/Brunch cocktails can generally kick rocks. I’ll knock back a mimosa or put a little summin-extra into a morning coffee mug, but I much prefer a fancy-boy coffee if I’m having a morning meal. Front Range Coffee is my go-to—they’ve got some excellent specialty drinks on hand and, more importantly for a Morning Pastry Jamboree Coffee Addendum, they’re in my neck of the woods.

This raises the important question: Do you NEED a coffee with your Morning Pastry Jamboree? Of course you do. Don’t be ridiculous. Where you get it is up to you—even if you want to make it at home! The Coffee Addendum is a very personal decision.

Brunch for Lunch

Now that we’ve had our pastry course, we can move on to our first true meal of the day. Whether you fall more on the “Br-” (as in “Breakfast”) or the “-unch” (as in “Lunch”) side of the coin, Billie’s Grocery is my pick for a late-morning nosh. I’ve never had anything lackluster in my visits, and I’ve had a number of “OhMyGawdThat’sAMAZING” items. The menu changes pretty frequently, but you can usually get your hands on Gluten-Free Chicken and Waffles, Shakshuka, or the Carnitas Burrito—all of which are excellent choices.

Even better—Billie’s Grocery has a huge selection of gluten-free pastries. I am not personally intolerant to gluten (in fact, I am extremely tolerant of it), and I tend to turn up my nose at spots that force me to forgo my beloved gluten. Not here. The pastry case at Billie’s Grocery is one of the best in KC, gluten-free or not. I would put their Tahini Millionaire Bar on my shortlist of favorite sweets in town.

Breezy Beers

After that giant brunch, we don’t actually need a true lunch. A better plan is booze—booze that is also filling. What makes it even better is if there is a food truck involved. And, if it’s a lovely autumn day, a dog-friendly patio. There are a handful of breweries around that fit the criteria, but Rockcreek Brewing Company in Mission is one I always find myself returning to.

They’ve got a big, social patio where you can almost always count on spotting some four-legged friends. There’s a windbreaking fence surrounding that patio. They also bring in food trucks several times a week—Happy Tummy Empanadas and Kansas City Smoked are frequent fliers that go great with helping to soak up pints of London Calling and Beverly Avenue Belgian Blonde Ale. Finally, they also have an impressive canning program, so you can take home your favorites.

Rockcreek Brewing Co. & KC Smoked // Photo by Jordan Baranowski

Happy Hour

Here’s where things start to pick up and the “never getting full” disclaimer comes in handy. Normally, enjoying some Breezy Beers after a pastry-packed morning puts me into a state of “I think I’m ready to go home and watch 5 episodes of British people sewing in a competitive-but-still-friendly environment,” but not when I’m going full Boris. It’s time for Happy Hour.

The criteria for an ideal Happy Hour spot are as follows:

• It should be at a fancy/expensive place. The point of Happy Hour is a little snack and a good cocktail or a glass of wine, so Happy Hour is the perfect way to enjoy a nicer spot in a more casual way without wrecking your budget.
• It should have a bar to sit at. Happy Hour is best enjoyed with 1-3 other people where you can also chat with the bartender. Since Happy Hour is typically not during peak times, it’s a nice way to strike up a conversation with the person fixing drinks and dropping off food—find out what’s good, learn some tricks of the trade, and enjoy yourself.
• It should be able to become your meal if you want it to. Happy Hour is a state of mind, not a menu with a couple appetizers for $2 less than normal and a few drinks you don’t want. If it never fails to make you happy, then you’ve found your jam. And, if it makes you happy, you shouldn’t feel bad about saying, “I’m going to order another small plate and call that dinner.”

For me, Farina in the Crossroads checks all those boxes. It’s great people watching. It’s amazing food. It has a deep wine selection and a shortlist of fun cocktails. It’s right in the heart of a great neighborhood, so it’s easy to jump to another spot if you’re feeling frisky. And it’s the perfect combo of fancy-but-approachable. I will 100% always try to order a plate of the Cacio e Pepe at Farina; it’s literally my favorite bite of food in all of Kansas City. That said, everything else is so good—Clam Toast, anyone?—that I won’t be mad if we skip out on the Cacio this time around.

But we’d better get it next time.

Barbacoa // Photo by Jordan Baranowski

Dinner

Whenever people learn that I’m a food writer, they inevitably ask, “What’s the best restaurant in Kansas City?”

Folks, that’s a very big question, and I can ask all sorts of follow-ups: Is price an issue? Is your idea of “best” a really good burger? Sushi? A steak? Something wild you’ve never tried before? What type of atmosphere do you enjoy? Do you like lots of small plates, or a more traditional appetizer-main-dessert flow? Do you want wine or cocktails with dinner? How do you feel about singing, animatronic bands?

Rather than flummox someone with all of those questions—especially that final, all-important Rock-afire Explosion one—I instead direct them to Barbacoa. It hits every sweet spot I’m looking for in an amazing dinner, whether I’m just feeling peckish or I’m ready to house the entire menu. It has one of my favorite bar programs in the entire city. It’s also unique in a way that not many places can boast: There just aren’t many places working with the flavors (Mexican recipes through the lens of backyard barbecue) that Barbacoa is. Get their Suadero if you can, and whatever beans they might have on offer. Or just point at random things on the menu, because it’s all insane. Don’t skip dessert, either.

Fun bonus for you: Barbacoa also fits nicely into the Happy Hour slot of this rundown if you’re so inclined.

Barbacoa // Photo by Jordan Baranowski

One More Drink

Your mileage may vary here, but a post-dinner cocktail on the way home is pretty much ideal to close out any evening. Like Happy Hour, your One More Drink (OMD) spot has a couple critical criteria to meet:

• Drinks should be instantly recognizable. I am absolutely a cocktail snob and LOVE to Google ingredients while I’m reading a menu—give me all that funky shit in a glass. But if I’m OMDing it, I want the classics.
• There should be stuff. If you’re making a day of it with a date or small crew, you’ve already spent a lot of time together. You know what they’re watching, how their kids are, and which parts of their bodies are breaking down as they get older. For OMD, you want stuff: TVs. Pinball. Shuffleboard. Erotic Photo Hunt. Darts. After all, you just put down a plate of Cacio e Pepe and followed that up with Mexican brisket and pit beans. Without stuff to keep you busy, you’re going to pass out at the bar—and that’s frowned upon.

For me, the ideal OMD spot is Dodson’s Bar & Commons. When the weather’s nice, the garage doors are open. There are TVs playing live sports, Bob Ross, classic Price is Right, panda videos, and one just streaming footage from trains. There’s shuffleboard. There’s a Super Nintendo. DODSON’S: THEY HAVE THE STUFF.

Plus, they have really good drinks. I’m a sucker for a good daiquiri, and Dodson’s never lets me down. Old Fashioneds, Black Manhattans, Horse Feathers—the bartenders here are always on point. Weirdly, Dodson’s also has one of the best margaritas in Kansas City. Trust me on this one.

Finally, if you somehow get hungry again, there’s Cosmo Burger here. Split some tots with your date and take home some burgers if you haven’t fully hit food coma mode yet. Eating a late-night smashburger when you absolutely are not hungry but it’s just so damn good you eat the whole thing—that’s a near-religious experience right there.

If you’ve made it this far on our autumnal journey, congratulations. Hopefully you’ve discovered some new ideas for how to spend your autumn weekends, or you’ve had some of your favorites affirmed. Keep an eye out if you find yourself at any of these spots in the coming months—I’d gladly share OMD with you.

Addresses & websites for the mentioned establishments:

Blackhole Bakery is located at 5531 Troost Ave, Kansas City, MO 64110.

Front Range Coffee has two locations: 2718 W. 53rd St, Fairway, KS 66205, and 400 E. Gregory Blvd, Kansas City, MO 64131.

Billie’s Grocery has two locations: 3216 Gillham Plaza, Suite 100, Kansas City, MO 64109, and 3614 West 95th St, Leawood, KS 66206.

Rockcreek Brewing Company is located at 5880 Beverly Ave, Mission, KS 66202.

Farina is located at 901 Baltimore Ave, Kansas City, MO 64108.

Barbacoa is located at 5500 Troost Ave, Kansas City, MO 64110.

Dodson’s Bar & Commons is located at 7438 Wornall Rd, Kansas City, MO 64114.