New heart-stopping, fast-food options

The product-development arm of fast-food companies never sleeps — and in the slower restaurant months of January and February, it always seems to go into hyper-drive.

One of the latest unholy offerings is from Einstein Bros. Bagels, which has just released Twisted Bagels. They look like the offspring of challah and bagels, if a plain challah got together with a sesame bagel. It’s two flavors in a braided bagel (sesame and plain, double chocolate chip and cinnamon raisin) — and yes, one of them is asiago-flavored (asiago and cheddar cheese). If Panera Bread or Einstein Brothers were to ever close up shop, the speculative asiago cheese market would completely collapse.

I applaud the company for stretching the definition of bagel, but I shudder at what cream-cheese holder will next come out of its R&D department.