Charlie Weis left the Kansas City Chiefs because of a shitty Parkville bus company

In the fevered dreams of Kansas City sports fans, former Kansas City Chiefs offensive coordinator Charlies Weis left us because of some epic behind-the-scenes battle with head coach Todd Haley. In my version, Haley plays unrelenting punch buggy on all away games. Doesn’t Haley seem like the kind of guy who would’ve tortured people in college with punch buggy? Not that it would hurt, just that he’d keep doing it until it drove you crazy, like Chinese water torture.

Also, in my version, Weis sounds just like George C. Scott and keeps growling at Haley to stop hitting him in the goddamn arm already, while Haley scampers away giggling.

But as it turns out, the real reason Weis left is because of one crappy Parkville bus company.