Will you be our Valentine, Chiefs Fan Who Fell Ass-First From A Tree?
[content note: there is a human butt in the video embedded here. warning you up top because you shouldn’t watch at work, unless you want to have a delightful time.]
While our Super Bowl victory parade was a mostly pleasant family affair, there was one local hero who made the whole world tune in to celebrate in kind. A man who made the play of the game on a day where there wasn’t a game. A man so dedicated to our team that nothing could prevent him from getting the best seat in the house for our community party. Nothing could prevent him … except for a combination of gravity and an unsecured waistband.
That champion is Kenney Richardson.
We weren’t sure what to do with Kenney’s whole situation. We were going to reach out and see if he wanted to do an interview about the experience. Perhaps tell us which adult beverages he’d had that morning and in what order. Then we were worried he might be in some degree of legal trouble, so perhaps commenting on it would be tricky.
But then Kenney leaned in.
In a public Facebook post on February the 8th, Kenney said: “YALL IM GOOD! Nothing happened! I am the tree guy! It hurt! GO CHIEFS! Sorry for falling out of a tree at your super bowl party! ❤️💛”
Since then he’s been posting a number of memes and fan edits of his video, and that’s good to see, because he’s responsible for one of the absolute funniest goddamned things we’ve ever seen.
Even MadTV’s Frank Caliendo weighed in.
We’d heard from a few locals that Kenney is actually known for allegedly pulling various mooning-style pranks around the Waldo area. One source in particular noted that while watching footage of the parade, they actually recognized Kenney’s derriere before they recognized his face.
Y’all see this man out here? He’s living his best life.
With all this in mind, we here at The Pitch (on behalf of all of KC) would like to ask Kenney if he will be our Valentine.
Sir, you display the absolute best and the absolute… most… of what our city has to offer. You have the spirit of a champion and the decision making of a ten-year-old child. And childlike wonderment is in short supply in 2020.
You have brought joy to the hearts of tens of thousands of people this week, and if Valentine’s Day isn’t about recognizing those that bring you happiness, we don’t know what it is for.
Thank you for your service to the city, and we hope your ass has fully healed.
In lieu of sending chocolates or flowers your way, please reach out to The Pitch offices at email@example.com and we will Venmo you the cost of a new pair of pants of your choosing. Or at least a nice belt. This is a very real offer and, some might say, a community service.
Your biggest fans.