Valentine’s dinner out? Stay home, say these restaurant veterans

Saturday is Valentine’s Day — one of the busiest nights of the year for restaurants. Your romance is their money. But would anyone working at a restaurant that night rather be eating in one with a date?

Don’t bet on it.

“If you really loved someone,” says Succotash owner Beth Barden, “you wouldn’t subject them to going out on Valentine’s Day. You would stay home, have a light meal and put the phone off the hook. Who in the hell wants to be crammed in a dining room between a bunch of people hoping to get laid?”

Well, when you put it that way.

I asked a few other restaurant pros for their Valentine’s Day advice, and I ended up with three great reasons to stay in Saturday night.

1. You don’t really want that expensive special menu.

Many restaurants serve from their regular menu on Valentine’s Day evening, but some venues — in order to keep sanity in the kitchen on such a busy night — stick to a prix fixe, which is usually more expensive for you. One former restaurateur reminds me: “The most romantic dinner you could have that night is the one you make at home. You can do everything on your own schedule.”

2. The dining room is full of amateurs.

It’s a cold, cruel truth: Valentine’s Day brings out the kind of patrons who either rarely go out to eat or dine in a restaurant only when they have a coupon. Outspoken Westport businessman Andy Chambers, of the Wonderland store, dismisses the whole thing as “amateur night.” He adds, “People are all moony-eyed in love and attempting to eat at a fancy restaurant for the first time. Chocolate is cheaper on the 15th.”

“Only amateurs go out on Valentine’s,” agrees American Restaurant bartender Paige Unger Cline. “Service is never as good on Valentine’s because every server is maxed out on tables.”

3. How can a busy restaurant even be romantic?

Your server really wants to turn tables that night. Even if he or she is professional enough not to consciously threaten your sense of romantic leisure, you’re going to be aware of all the people waiting at the bar for your table.

Veteran waiter David Hayden puts it this way: “You will be rushed. If you were lucky enough to get a table on Saturday night, expect to have the seat still warm from the previous guests, and know that every extra minute you stay results in an angry guest in the lobby wondering why their table isn’t ready. A restaurant that might do two turns of a table is scheduled to do four on Valentine’s Day.”

Given all of that, what could be more romantic than carryout?