The noisiest restaurants in town

I once worked as a server in a disco restaurant. The dining tables surrounded a dance floor outfitted with a spectacular light and sound system that blasted out the latest long-playing singles by Gloria Gaynor, Chic, Cher and other artists not even remotely remembered today, like Carrie Lucas (“It’s Not What You Got, It’s How You Use It”).

None of the clientele could hear a thing over the music, so conversation — even with the servers — was practically impossible. Before the restaurant closed (when disco went sour, that joint fell out of fashion faster than Celi Bee and the Buzzy Bunch), I was nearly hearing-impaired.

There aren’t many restaurants like that anymore, thank goodness, because the patrons spent more time in the bathroom than at their tables. But there are still some venues where the noise overpowers the cuisine. Here are five metro restaurants we recommend if you don’t really want to chat with your companions.