Santa’s shakedown man, Krampus, should visit … Kansas Democrats

What a clusterfuck. That’s the only way to describe Kansas Democrats’ disastrous attempts to field a candidate for governor.

A retired California pharmaceutical exec, Tom Wiggans, announced he was running in November … then dropped out of the race a month later.

Governor Mark Parkinson said he wouldn’t run. The party’s chair, Larry Gates, said he didn’t want to run either. Neither did legendary newsman Bill Kurtis.

If there’s any justice, Saint Nicholas will unleash his Krampus on Kathleen Sebelius and Parkinson for leaving Kansas progressives without a successor. There’s no one who can knock heads with Republican U.S. Sen. Sam Brownback.

Krampus, grab your rod and start the flogging. Eight fucking years to plan for this moment. Nice work, Sebelius. Even nicer of Parkinson to choose a lieutenant governor who isn’t interested in running for governor. Thanks guys. Hope Krampus drags you to hell. Maybe he’ll find a candidate in hell’s second circle. At least he’s human.

Photo illustration by Heather Manica.