Remember when we just called a sandwich a sandwich?

When the Rusty Horse Tavern opened in Parkville last year, a sandwich category must have seemed a little too plebeian because the first menu at the place listed the burgers and bratwurst-on-bun creations as “hand held meals.” The owners have evidently come to their senses because the category is now just titled “sandwiches.”

But the desire to be different is hardly limited to a few neighborhood taverns. The Rusty Horse probably got its goofy category idea from some other menu somewhere with an even sillier name for its burgers. (The recently opened Louie’s Wine Dive in Waldo calls its sandwiches “sandies,” which is a trend unto itself and one that I wish would cease.) Such winsome nomenclature might work for a children’s menu, but those of us old enough to order a glass of wine with dinner really would prefer that restaurants just call foods by their names.

Below is Fat City’s menu-category grievance list. These are all real categories on actual Kansas City restaurant menus. Restaurant owners, if you’re reading, please keep this in mind: Some of the most eye-rolling categories here are from the menus of restaurants that went out of business over the past year.

Categories: Dining, Food & Drink