Pee Party: Town Topic on Broadway

  • Today’s topic: Urinating.

Pee Party is an irregular column in which we investigate restrooms around town.

Some people out there – repugnant snobs, I call them; preposterous fools, I call them! – ghettoize Town Topic to the ranks of “drunk food.” But Town Topic is to be enjoyed all day, in both sobriety and intoxication. Why else would it be open 24 hours?

I prefer eating at Town Topic (and other greasy-spoon diners) in the mornings, when I am more or less sober. To sit at a counter, drinking black coffee and reading the paper while waiting for an omelet, is about as peaceful as my life gets. I did this last week, and as my Truckstop Omelet was being prepared, I took a trip to the restroom.

The restroom at the Broadway location is unmarked, but there is only one door in the tiny space, and given that restaurants are required to provide customers with a functioning restroom, a leap of faith can be made. Still, even after opening the door, it is not entirely clear that you have entered a restroom. It resembles a forbidden kitchen closet of some kind. Perhaps that is due to the fact that it is also where they store the rags and towels?

Technically, the stall is separated from the outer restroom by a door. But I am not sure what shape of a person could close the door behind him or her and still effectively urinate. For women (or the unfortunate man who finds his bowels in disarray), a swing-both-knees-to-one-side type of situation might work. As a standing urinator, I did my business halfway inside and halfway outside the “stall.” This picture possibly does not quite do it justice:

There is also this weird hole in the top of the wall that leads into a room where I assume they do the dishes? Or maybe a break room? Or maybe I don’t want to know?

Sometimes it is best to just enjoy life’s remaining mysteries.

Categories: Dining, Food & Drink