Patio interlopers

The sun is shining and diners are enjoying the chance to eat outdoors. But at restaurants across the city, servers are forced to shoo away people who are not dining out.

Today, one server gets a chance to take aim at people who see restaurant patios as public spaces. It’ll be anonymous, because these types of rants are often followed by a manager explaining that the server’s last paycheck will be

mailed home. Below are situations our server has encountered, the excuses he hears ad nauseam and the responses he’d love to give. 

But I’m just waiting for the rest of my party… Then go in and talk to the hostess like you would at any other restaurant. I don’t need to enjoy your half of a cell phone conversation as I attempt to recite the daily specials. 

We’re just snapping a quick picture…. You’re not Ansel Adams and this is not a national park. Save the cheesecake photos for at home, so my guests don’t have to struggle to keep down their meal while watching your attempts to look sexy.