Pasta Master

Hip-hop MC Priceless Diamonds describes herself as a “boss bitch” who grew up boosting clothes and turning the occasional trick. She swears that she’s leading a straighter life now, but we figure she’s still learned lots of good life lessons. So listen up, y’all.

My sister is 15, and I’m afraid she’s going to get pressured into sex too early. How do I convince her to keep her legs closed?

I feel you. You gotta talk to her. A girl knows when she’s ready, but you gotta make sure it’s with the right person. I lost mine when I was skipping school. Some older guy talked me out of it. I was 16. I got home, and I thought about it all night. All month. It’s a whole big world out there she should be conquering. She could end up with a baby or AIDS. And then the guy — after he gets it, the phone calls’ll be coming less and less. You wait until you get a career and money first. Nobody ever told me that. If they had, I wouldn’t be a single mother. If he loves you, he will not pressure you. He’ll wait.

So the other night I was dancing at Kabal and one of the annoying guys from phocas.net snapped my photo and put it on the Internet. I guess I didn’t see a sign on the door that said that if I go in, I’m agreeing to the possibility of being photographed. But I feel kinda violated! Would this piss you off, too?

When I’m out partying, I’m looking my best, so I’m ready for those shots. No, the Boss Bitch ain’t gonna get mad.

Got a question only Priceless can answer? E-mail her at bossbitch@pitch.com.

Pasta Master

The Kansas State Board of Education’s decision to teach superstition in science classrooms has helped a guy in Oregon sell 700 T-shirts.

Bobby Henderson, a 25-year-old with a physics degree and an uncertain career, created a Web site asserting that a Flying Spaghetti Monster made the universe. In an open letter to the Kansas school board, Henderson argues that the discussion of theories alternative to evolution, such as intelligent design, should include mention of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

“It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel,” Henderson writes in the letter, which is posted at Venganza.org. “We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.”

Henderson’s site has drawn the attention of The New York Times, The Washington Post and New Scientist magazine. Three school-board members who oppose the teaching of intelligent design wrote replies. Carol Rupe of Wichita thanked Henderson for bringing levity to the situation and unleashed some sarcasm of her own. “I was wondering if we could reverse the effects of global warming if we started breeding pirates,” she wrote.

There’s a Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster store on the site, and Henderson tells us in an e-mail that he’s moved 700 T-shirts bearing images of the omnipotent pasta dish.

The site also features a link to Henderson’s résumé. He’s a 2003 graduate of Oregon State University.

“I put the ‘hire me’ page up after the site became popular,” Henderson says. “I have a ton of job leads because of it, but I’m trying to avoid having a real job for a while longer.”

Yeah, he and certain members of the Kansas state school board.

Blonde Ambition

We know what a squeaky-clean image the Country Club Plaza likes to maintain. But we recently checked the files at Kansas City’s Regulated Industries division and confirmed the shocking — shocking! — truth about the hot spot Blonde, which Pitch readers recently voted the city’s Best New Bar. Perhaps there’s a lesson in there for Plaza owner Highwoods Properties: The people want more nightlife attractions funded by porn money!

Blonde is owned by Lucid Entertainment, part of Bill Asher’s empire. And in case you fast-forward through the intros on those dirty DVDs, Asher’s Vivid Entertainment is the largest adult-film company in the nation. With its library of more than 1,500 nudie flicks and 60 new releases a year, the Van Nuys, California-based Vivid generates $100 million in revenue a year, according to Forbes.

Highwoods didn’t return our calls, but we had no problem getting Mr. Asher on the phone to talk about what it’s like setting up shop in our city.

Us: Does your success in the adult-film industry make other ventures difficult?

Asher: That probably goes to a misperception about the adult-film industry today and about Vivid. The movies that we make with stars like Jenna Jameson and Tera Patrick, these women are stunning models — they are intelligent women. We shoot a high-end movie. It’s entertainment that is adult entertainment, but at this point, you know, it’s just high-quality entertainment. That’s what we hope to be: very pretty, very fun.

What is your interest in both businesses?

I’m the owner in Vivid, and I’m the owner in Lucid. Other than me, there’s no commonality between the two at all. I’m an investor. I’m simply the guy behind the scenes. Guys like me aren’t really important, except for setting the tone.

Have you been to Blonde yet?

I went there for the opening.

Can we expect to see Vivid actresses there?

I’m sure they’ve been in there as customers. If they are in town, obviously, they are going to go somewhere, and if it’s the nicest plus it’s owned by the boss? Why wouldn’t they go to the best club in town?

Does Highwoods know the club’s relationship to Vivid?

Of course they know. Whether it’s good or bad, nowadays you can Google someone’s name and find out who they are in 30 seconds, so we couldn’t have hidden it. Plus, we don’t. I’m quite proud of it, and I think it conveys entertainment for people over 21 years old that’s fun. I want to build something that’s really nice that’s going to add to the Highwoods Properties. God bless them, they were all smart enough to say, “This is something we do want.”

Categories: News