Meat Lover’s Daily Briefs
By CHRIS PACKHAM
If you like piles and piles of meat, sprayed with a meat gun across flattened sheets of meat, you’re gonna love Meat Lover’s Daily Briefs — pen-raised and grain-fed, pumped so full of antibiotics and bovine growth hormone that you’ll feel your man-boobs enlarging with every juicy bite. LADIES: Man-boobs aren’t just for men, anymore! Our pipin’-hot, sizzlin’ blend of phytoestrogens, BHG, bovine somatotrophin and IGF-1 means you can have the same flat, pendulous man-boobs as your meat-lovin’ husband or boyfriend. Once you sink your razor-sharp incisors into what we can only continue to describe as our “juicy” layers of pepperoni, italian sausage, ham, veal, bacon, beef, capicola, ground angus, chicken, meat loaf, haggis, cornish game hen, tripe, rabbit and venison, you’ll feel your testicles drop for the second time. LADIES: Dropping testicles aren’t just for men anymore!
Anyway, meat. After the jump, movies and local polling. Click here or on the weather. There’s a meat front blowing in from the west: