Me and Esquire give advice to graduating young’ns

Sadly and surprisingly, I was once again passed over to give a commencement speech this year. It’s a shame because I believe I’ve got some valuable advice to offer graduates, especially from high school.

I actually only received this valuable advice myself two days ago when it was printed in Esquire and like many things in the magazine it concerns drinking.

Now I know what you’re thinking — high schoolers aren’t of drinking age. Yes, there are many who wouldn’t dare dream of imbibing illegally, but the ones who do might as well learn the proper way to do it. Just as I don’t condone underage sex but I know that Bristol Palin teenagers are going to do it anyway and might as well be safe, I believe high school graduates could save themselves much humiliation by knowing some basic drinking rules.

When a person starts drinking casually, there are many things that need to be understood. Some highlights from Esquire‘s article: