Longboards wraps up Mac Lethal inspiration with the Mac 3-Cheese Lethal Wrap
Remember those times in college when you forgot to buy groceries, and all you had in the kitchen was a box of rice noodles, a block of cheese, a couple cloves of garlic and some ketchup? And maybe you weren’t quite sober, and you looked at these items, cracked another beer, and said, “Yeah, I can make this work”?
The new Mac 3-Cheese Lethal Wrap at Longboards Wraps & Bowls is the pinnacle of such haphazard, fuck-it methods of food assemblage. Named for Mac Lethal, Kansas City’s fast-talking, Royals-loving, entrepreneurial rapper, the wrap contains three-cheese macaroni, brisket, smoked turkey, egg, bacon, crushed Doritos and Sriracha aioli. It’s a stoner’s wet dream.
The day after Mac announced the availability of the sandwich on social media, I headed to Longboards (5415 Johnson Drive, Mission) to try it. I was shocked by the $12 price tag, but when I actually held the wrap, I understood. It was larger than my forearm and weighed several pounds. If I’d had one for my other hand, I could have done light resistance training.
When I got home and cut the wrap open, I marveled at its gooey, multicolored innards, which reminded me of a weird modern-art installation. Then I took my first bite. It was a salty, meaty mess — in a good way. I briefly contemplated how many calories the behemoth contained before concluding that, at this point, it didn’t matter. If I devoured the whole thing, I’d be screwed.
As I continued to eat, I noticed that a different ingredient became prominent with each bite. At first, I tasted the creamy mac and cheese, followed by the egg; then it was all brisket, with a pleasant Dorito finish. Once I’d finished half the wrap, I declared myself victorious. Then I found myself wanting more, which was odd because I could not recall using any illegal substances that day.
Instead of giving in to temptation, I sought to counteract the effects of everything I’d just consumed by eating several handfuls of fresh spinach, because I am definitely not in college anymore. But hey, everything is fine in moderation. •