Katie Horner will get you drunk
Poor Katie Horner. The matriarch of meteorology just wants you to seek shelter — intermediately! — with your emergency kit (and there’s still time to gather one up before the next rain).
But some unappreciative souls want her fired.
And some heathens — we’re looking at you Lawerence.com — want you to use her insightful, motherly weather forecasts to get drunk.
Just look at this.
The Katie Horner Drinking Game
If Katie’s wearing jeans, it’s clearly casual day. All players must be in their underwear.
If Katie mentions a watch or a warning of any type, hold tight to your drink and sip nervously.
If Katie tells you it’s hailing in you area, run outside to freshen the ice in your cup.
If Katie speaks directly to your children, give them a heavy dose of cough syrup. (If you don’t have kids, drink it yourself.)
If Katie says “Tonganoxie,” everyone passes their drink to the person on the right and chugs.
If Katie says “Take cover,” top off your drink. It’s gonna be a long night.
If Katie talks about being scared for your life, chug.
If Katie asks the audience to e-mail her rainfall totals or storm damage reports, take a crazy party pic and send it to her.
If Katie references Newschopper 5, take 5 gulps.
If Katie announces a tornado warning, fire up the blender and make some pina coladas.
If Katie talks about Doppler coupling, make out with the person to your left.
If Katie walks off screen, take a long, steady chug until she returns.
If Katie talks about peace of mind, drink.
If Katie tells you you’re in the clear, the game ends.
If a tornado actually hits your house, move the party to KCTV5 and get Katie drunk with you!