Introducing the all-new PITCH SPORTS BLOG

By CHRIS PACKHAM

Small Market Scribblings — the sports feature you’ve seen on this blog for several weeks — has, via the kind of “slingshot” gravity assist you learned about in your junior college orbital mechanics course, been flung out of Plog orbit and is now floating through space as the first and only Pitch sports blog. SMALL MARKET SCRIBBLINGS, you guys. For all of you pedants who leave comments on the Plog demanding that I show my math and also calling me a “faget,” I’ve whipped up this chart of Keplerian orbital elements describing the maneuver:

Authored by Pitch freelancer and embarrassing sports savant Chris Rasmussen, it’s a surprisingly accessible and funny roundup of sports news and analysis the whole family can enjoy, except on Wednesdays, when Chris will be covering sports-related sex scandals in what can only be described as biologically disgusting detail. But think about it: Without a free press, athletes would be totally free to inject deca-durabolin and other illegal performance enhancing drugs directly into their biceps and quadriceps and what-not, and then where would we be? In a horrible dystopic world where baseball players were the size of halfbacks. GO BACK TO FRANCE, George Orwell. Check out Small Market Scribblings by clicking on this very sentence you are currently reading, or on the awesome logo below:

Categories: News