Fuzzy Math

 

The Number 23 grips a stupid idea and runs so far with it — in so many directions and to such little purpose — that it nearly won me over from sheer berserk effort. In a nutshell, this nutso movie observes what happens to a man (Jim Carrey) under the impression that every damn thing that’s happened in the history of the world — Hiroshima, the death of Hitler, grandma’s birthday — somehow relates to the number 23. Parents each contribute 23 chromosomes to their kids. The Earth’s axis is off by 23.5 degrees (and 5 = 2 + 3). The Mayans predicted that the apocalypse would occur on December 23, 2012 (20 + 1 + 2 = 23).

There’s something sort of adorable about a thriller premised on the delusional analysis of utter randomness, and I salute its makers for extending this helter-skelter desperation to everything in the movie — plot, character, logic, continuity, production design, cinematography.

The plot is beyond complicated, but it basically comes down to this: Omigod, 23! Omigod, 23! Omigod, 23! Yet, for all its relentless number crunching, this is really a movie about storytelling, stories within stories, and stories within flashbacks within fantasies within madness, all unloaded with the help of exposition so preposterously contrived that it borders on parody. Director Joel Schumacher appears to take things very seriously, but there’s a sense that screenwriter Fernley Phillips is winking up from the page and having a bit of fun with the idea that deranged paranoia is a form of authorship and vice versa, each being motivated by an impulse to pattern making, a compulsion to arrange connections that don’t naturally exist.

Carrey stars as Walter Sparrow, mild-mannered animal-control officer. From the look of things, he appears to have a muskrat living on his head, but crisis of coif notwithstanding, his immediate concern is a runaway dog growling in the alley of a Chinese takeout joint. Any veterinarian — or veteran of corny supernatural thrillers — could identify the breed as Benevolent Totem crossed with Guardian of the Dead, but Walter remains oblivious even as the pooch leads him to a gravestone and sits patiently with a Meaningful Stare.

The dog detour makes Walter late for a date with his wife, Agatha (Virginia Madsen), who has passed the time at a bookshop flipping though the ratty red covers of The Number 23. Encouraged perhaps by the hilariously blatant red color scheme of the movie she’s in, Agatha purchases the mysterious, self-published tome for her hubby. “Have some writer fill my head with nonsense?” he says. “I’ll wait for the movie.” Ha! The book turns out to be, like, the story of Walter’s life and everything. Cue a cut-rate film noir that Walter imagines as he pursues the text, starring himself as a hard-boiled detective with an uncanny resemblance to Gaius Baltar from Battlestar Galactica and his wife as a femme fatale with a less than magnificent ability to navigate in stilettos.

This interior film is beyond complicated, but it basically comes down to Omigod, 23! + killing. That’s how The Number 23 goes from being a film about diabolical literature and hysterical numerology to a murder mystery that has something to do with a certain Dr. Sirius Leary. Seriously, could this film please be a little more off its rocker? A word of warning to fans of Dreamcatcher, Silent Hill and Domino — guilty pleasures with a similar devotion to throwing themselves off the cliff of credibility: The Number 23 is a lot more fun to write about than it is to sit through.

 

Categories: Movies