Five food stories for your guilty reading pleasure

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Fat City is usually about uplifting and inspiring readers to fill their gullet with fried or seared bits of culinary excellence. At times, you probably wonder if Oprah herself is behind this keyboard, touch-typing out small electronic missives.

Alas, all of you are not getting a toaster. But today, we channel our inner Jerry Springer and bring you five recent food stories from around the Interwebs that are nothing but empty (delightfully empty) calories.