Eartha Kitt is “going white,” and Marlon Brando is hellbound with Stalin: The Internet only wishes it were as bitchy as 1955’s Rave magazine
Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist
brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from
area basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do
this for one reason: Knowledge is power.
Rave: The Magazine of Intimate Expose
Author: Gay-baiting, breast obsessed, utterly degenerate/hilarious pretend moralist “Peter Hamilton”
Brass Amradillo Antique Mall
Promises: That Gretta Garbo “loathes” America, the country
that invented Russian Roulette.
Brando taps on those Pearly gates and mumbles at St. Peter that he
wants in, the reception he’ll get will be about as warm as the one
St. Pete recently gave the late Josef Vasily Stalin.” (page 22).
we are wrong, there’s no doubt about it: we’ll have pulled the
publishing goof of the decade. We
repeat: DEBBIE AND EDDIE WILL NOT MARRY.”
the Fox News hosts who denounce spring break lasciviousness while
filling the screen with looped images of wet T-shirt action, the scandal rag Rave enjoys nothing more
than taking a good, long, hand-in-pants stare into the very vices it
purports to oppose.
On one page, Rave is
shocked that Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher would dare “mock”
the institution of marriage. Not only does Rave suspect the romance was unconsummated and publicist-dictated, Rave suggests of Debbie, in bold, “maybe she was UNINTERESTED in boys.”
But just a few pages later, Rave sneers
at buxom sexpot Jane Russell for insufficient sexiness,
comparing her to “a painted female impersonator who stuck one
too many pillows down the front.”