Dear Chuck E. Cheese, we don’t come to you for the pizza

No, father. I do not wish to play more Dance Dance Revolution or Crazy Taxi. I wish to sit and enjoy this delectable pizza.

What are ‘words that have never been uttered at a Chuck E. Cheese,’ Alex? That’s correct, the control of the board is yours.

Chuck E. Cheese, the destroyer of quarters and animatronic band pioneer, has developed a new pizza with fresh dough, zesty pizza sauce and 100 percent “real mozzarella.” In succumbing to the “real” food movement, the arcade restaurant has lost its way.