Daily Briefs: Victory for the Hobbits of Middle-Earth League Baseball

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After a careful review of my own record and accomplishments, I’ve given myself a series of merit-based promotions and have achieved the rank of rear admiral. As a two-star admiral, I outrank commodores and captains, but I still have to report to, and salute, Vice Admiral E. Thomas McClanahan. Frankly, I considered promoting myself to Staff Sergeant Chris Packham because “staff sergeant” sounds unbelievably badass and simultaneously evokes my “staff.” But frankly, I’ve always felt the call of the sea, and I look completely fabulous in my dress whites. One of my command responsibilities is the daily aggregation of news items. You can find today’s dossier below the jump by clicking here or on the portrait of Rear Admiral Elis Treidler Öberg, Chairman of the Inter-American Defense Board:

Categories: News