Daily Briefs: Three stories about “The Man.”

By CHRIS PACKHAM

Keeping America safe from your “ROAD TRIP!!!!” playlist: So I guess I won’t be traveling with any laptops, now that the DHS has disclosed a border policy whereby they can seize your computer or any other electronic device without probable cause, keep it indefinitely and release any personal information, such as the “short films” you hide in your Win32 folder, %{[ data-embed-type=”image” data-embed-id=”57150c4589121ca96b960d28″ data-embed-element=”aside” ]}%to any entity they choose, such as your wife. I don’t even remember how to get outraged about stuff like this. If your Microsoft Zune gets disappeared down the terrorism hole, I’ll probably laugh at you, just based on the fact that I’m already kind of laughing at you in my imagination, where you’re sputtering like Niles from Frasier at the uniformed G.E.D. recipient at airport security, handing off your MacBook to a supervisor. HAHA!

These days, whenever I hear about one of these para-fascist airport policies, my first question is, “Will this upset Cory Doctorow?” If the answer is yes, there’s a tiny little Donald Rumsfeld voice inside my head that says, “Good!” I’m no Benito Mussolini, but if vesting absolute political power in a single authoritarian office is what it takes to upset Cory Doctorow, then by all means, please don’t stop with the fourth amendment; go ahead and dispense with the other nine bullet points on the Founding PowerPoint Bill of Rights slide show, too, and here are my personal electronics.

After the jump, some stuff about fiery explosions of money and some stuff about hardscrabble dirt farmers getting their land confiscated by rich oil barons. Click here, or on this fat, monocled plutocrat who wants to drill for crude where your child’s bedroom used to be:

Categories: News