Daily Briefs: Dress Codes, Lap-Bands, Good Samaritans

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By CHRIS PACKHAM

I’m sorry that sombrero-wearing Mexican banditos broke into your office and stole your job. As a symbol of manufactured sympathy, I bought you this condolence card designed by illegal Mexican immigrants at Hallmark:

Now that Missouri Gov. Matt Blunt has signed an immigration bill into law requiring proof of citizenship for public benefits, including food stamps and housing, and mandating English-only commercial driver’s license tests, maybe white America will once again be welcome down at the day labor office.

It’s worth pointing out that where terrified bigots see a burgeoning population of criminals, even Kansas City’s venerable Hallmark corporation sees a new market to expand its reach in indifferent expressions of sentiment for unimaginative people. After the jump, new race-based opportunities for revenue growth. Click here, or on this adorable Precious Moments card expressing our deepest sorrow on the occasion of the deportation of your wife:

Categories: News