Cheerios attempts a takeover of the cereal aisle

There are no fewer than nine flavors of Cheerios on grocery store shelves right now. That’s nine flavors — nine — of one cereal. I can have yogurt Cheerios, fruit-flavored Cheerios — and now, Chocolate Cheerios.

It’s as if General Mills has mounted an underground attack on the cereal aisle, laying waste to competitors by sneaking in new versions. I remember when multigrain was a big deal — but now multigrain feels like what senior citizens might pick if they wanted to be adventurous with their breakfast choice.

I want to be brash and young, so I recently bought a box of Chocolate Cheerios. The release of a chocolate flavor suggests that Cheerios has finally caved and admitted what I’ve known since eating Honey Nut Cheerios as a kid: Cheerios is a covert member of the sugar cereal family.