Backwash

The Islamic Society of Greater Kansas City maintains a Web site that lists KC-area mosques, helps local Muslims find jobs and explains the Quran to curious non-Muslims. It also maintains a guestbook, in which visitors can leave messages for the site’s administrators. What follows is a sampling of those messages.

Where is the prayer time list?

Assalam-alai-kum. This is a very good web site. Thanks to all who worked on this. It would be great if we can include the contact list of all the muslims in Kansas City.

I am praying that no more harm comes to America, especially by those who have been welcomed as guests here. I am praying for all the children of the world, that they may not have to sit by and watch while the adults of the world destroy it due to their lack of respect for one another.

All this java keeps crashing my perfectly good browser. Looks like the work of a high school student. If you can’t program properly please just stick to straight html.

Thank you for your well-designed website. Peace to our communities!!

What kinda of muslims or their in American

Just wanted to thank you for your information on Halloween. I was invited to a Halloween party and wasn’t sure if I should go or not. Your guide to Halloween told me that it is haram for Muslims to celebrate Halloween. Now I will definitely not be going to my friend’s Halloween party.

I think you are all insane.

I Love u I Love u Love u I Love u I love u I love u I love u i love u I love u I love u I love u I Love u I Love u!!!! Damb It i Love u!!!!!!!

How do I become a member and how could you reach out to us here in Nigeria.

It was three years ago when I awoke from a restless sleep in my Boston hotel room early in the morning of September 11, 2001 …With our baggage in hand, we soon gathered in the hotel lobby to board a shuttle van to the airport …We boarded the plane with the rest of the passengers, and in a short time we were down the runway and into the air … With ruthless intensity, we did what we believed necessary to gain total command of the plane. I was soon in the pilot’s seat, at the controls, directing the plane toward its new destination: New York City … I don’t remember feeling the moment of impact — only that everything turned completely black … I then knew I was in the presence of GOD … He then commanded, “Take him away!” and immediately a mighty angel flew down to where I laid and carried me off. I cried out, “Please, go and bring my story to the living … They must know the Truth! We’ve been deceived and betrayed by Satan into accepting Islam as the true and heavenly religion! Its teachings, its god Allah, its prophet Mohammed, have all been false! Our Jihad has all been in vain! There is NO REWARD for us; we will only reap what we’ve sown. JESUS CHRIST is God’s only and FINAL REVELATION to mankind. Islam will NEVER convert and rule the nations of the world!!”

To all our Brothers and Sisters, your families, and those who reside in oppressed, occupied, or war-torn countries, we are praying that you have a blessed and peaceful Ramadhan. Salaams from all of us!

Your site brings me happiness.

Net Prophet
Notes from KC’s blogosphere.

This is one trend that really, really needs to stop. Last year, when Nick Lewellen brought his guitar to lunch and rocked out by the vending machines, I thought it was ridiculously cool, mainly because it was such an original and rebellious idea. But now everyone has a guitar at lunch. The real problem is, no one ever plays them. They just lug them around so people can see that they play guitar, and hope to gain some social cred and possibly some ass. It’s almost pathetic to see these kids sitting around, seemingly warming up for nigh-on forever as an excuse to not play anything good, while a bunch of “clingers” sit around them, pretending to be fascinated. People make me sick. From “Dreadnought 7,” the online diary of 15-year-old high school student Brad Davis

Jimmy the Fetus

Jimmy the Fetus here, your guide to moral values in the Midwest, helping folks by showing them the stuff we learned in Sunday school really does matter.

Dear Jimmy:

How do you find good help these days? I mean, you’d think after $20,000 in easy money, someone would shut the fuck up already. Is that unreasonable?

Paige

Columbia, Missouri

Dear Paige:

I feel your pain, sister. Everyone knows money doesn’t buy what it used to.

Sure, some readers might be thinking, Jimmy, aren’t you still a little wet behind the ears? But if you’ll notice, I’ve been given a weekly column that carries not only my name but also a relatively accurate likeness. Every few days, thousands of people run their eyes across this space. Talk about pressure. Sort of along the lines of having one’s name inscribed on a monument.

So I can relate to how you’re feeling. Not long after this column debuted, I found the strain to be too much — my bones haven’t even begun to solidify, for Chrissakes! — so I sought a little help. Call it a subcontract. Just a few hundred words now and then from my prenatal nurse, Elena. Long story short, my editor got his panties all up in a wad when he found out about it, and Elena and I had to end the whole thing.

Anyway, Paige, remember what the Bible tells us: “Ho! Escape to Zion, you who dwell with the daughter of Babylon.” I’ll leave it up to our readers to decide who that first word refers to.

Got a moral quandary? E-mail it to editorial@pitch.com.