Amber Alert! Silver Alert! Jesus is missing!
Depending on which Jesus this billboard along 71 Highway refers to — lord baby Jesus? Jesus on the cross? — this either qualifies as an “Amber Alert” or a “Silver Alert.” But Jesus is missing. So if you’ve seen a guy wearing a crown of thorns or turning water into wine at Chez Charlie or in the usual place — in Cheeto (Cheesus), a baby scan or a granite slab — let us know.