The definitive guide to frozen pizza
The supermarket’s frozen-pizza section, which takes up damn near an entire side of a freezer aisle, keeps evolving. New brands push in among the familiar (though most are owned by a handful of multinational corporations – Nestlé manufactures Jack’s, Tombstone, DiGiorno and, weirdly, California Pizza Kitchen), adding new crusts and engineering new topping combos. DiGiorno, for instance, offers packages that include pizza, cookies and something called chicken “wyngz.”
How are ordinary citizens supposed to keep up with all this madness? Which brands are worth an extra couple of bucks, and which cause immediate regret? Why do they spell “wings” funny? Is it like how Kentucky Fried Chicken had to change its name to KFC because it wasn’t technically serving chicken anymore? We don’t know the answers to all these questions. But we know a lot about frozen pizza, and we have the high cholesterol and low self-esteem to prove it. Here, then, is Fat City’s trusty, bottom-up guide to your next frozen pizza (which comes on the heels of last week’s pizza issue).
