I’m a man who eats 1/4-pound burgers

Dear Ubiquitous burger joints,

I’m a man who is happy with a 1/4-pound burger. Actually, I’m a man who is freaking overjoyed with a 1/4-pound burger when it’s cooked right. And I simply don’t need more than that. You know why? Because I’m going to slather it in onions and cheese and condiments. I’m going to still have to manage a bun of some sort. And I’m ordering fries.