The Guitarist, His Amp, the Singer, His Wife and Her Lover.

I can’t decide whether this Craigslist ad is real or a work of fiction. In any case, it’s the most hilariously written — just perfectly framed and executed — musical-equipment-for-sale ad I’ve ever read. (Thanks to RG for the tip.) I’m not sure which member of the band placed the ad, but I’m deducing that it’s the band’s frontman, based on the way he phrases the headline:

“I caught my guitarist screwing my wife so I am selling his guitar amp! – $300”

The bravura section:

Here is the low down on the amp. This thing is ALWAYS louder than my amp. It is a peavey XXL 212 and apparently has no volume knob because that son of a cocksucker would never turn it down. It has three channels, Clean, Crunch, and Look At Me, I Am Playing Another Lead! It has a foot switch that changes between the channels and turns on and off the effects loops so you can have a ginourmous home made pedal board and look like the biggest douche that ever graced the stage of the Riot Room. There is also a reverb so you can make your guitar sound like the moaning echos of a man who’s wife is a cheating whore. I assure you, it is in pristine shape, as the former owner took care of it like it were his baby. Well, he is busy taking care of other things now, isn’t he? Please buy this thing before I throw it through the window of his house.

And the kicker:

Also looking for new guitarist.

Here’s the poor lil’ amp.

What tangled webs we weave.