Daily Briefs: Symbolic photo-ops; Real ID; Riding the Max

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By CHRIS PACKHAM

Giant ceremonial mayor makes giant ceremonial scissors look like regular, normal-sized scissors: I’m a huge fan of symbolic photo ops involving hard hats, giant pairs of scissors, gold-plated sledgehammers and ceremonial shovels. I start every work project with a gold-plated ceremonial three-hole punch. Every spring, I bring my ceremonial shovel up from the basement, scoop the first pile of dirt out of the garden to signify that the planting season has begun, and then let my girlfriend do all the actual work. She’s the muscle; I’m the all-important inspiration.

World-bestriding colossus Mayor Mark Funkhouser put on what I assume was a solid-gold hard hat yesterday and helped maneuver one of the city’s approximately 75 million steel plates off a Kansas City roadway at 25th Street and Troost, per a campaign promise last year to increase the number of Kansas City’s symbolic photo ops by 50 percent. After the jump, some photos of naked women that might just make you reconsider your “girls are gross” position. Click here, or symbollically click on the oversized ceremonial scissors: