The poultry-free General Tso’s Chicken

A friend of mine has this theory that Americans so passionately love anything battered and deep-fried, it almost doesn’t matter what’s underneath the crispy crust — rattlesnake, dried algae, dog turd — as long as it’s served as a crunchy, golden brown creation, preferably covered with a cream gravy or a sugary sweet-and-sour sauce.

That concept has certainly crossed my mind at certain lowbrow Chinese buffets, where the steam tables are piled high with battered bits of God only knows what — it’s usually identified as chicken — and deluged in some variation of a cornstarch-based sauce. One of the most popular dishes on any buffet — or Chinese carryout menu — is the Chinese-American invention called General Tso’s chicken, also known as Governor Tso’s chicken, General Tao’s chicken, General Gao’s chicken and — at one local buffet — General chicken.