Men’s Health takes the joy out of your candy box

• Flickr: Chrisser
• Let your gut do the thinking on this one.

The Men’s Health ‘Eat This, Not That’ series is a juggernaut for two very simple reasons: It preaches substitution, rather than denial, and it does a beautiful job of making us simultaneously covet and feel grossed out by a 2,000-calorie bacon-cheeseburger monstrosity. For Valentine’s Day, the either/or maxim was applied to candy, and our very own Russell Stover made the list. According to Men’s Health, you shouldn’t eat the Milk Chocolate Almond Delights because they’re high in calories, courtesy of partially hydrogenated oil. Your best bet is the Milk Chocolate Whips.

Our advice? It’s Valentine’s Day. Let yourself go — that extra weight won’t show up until later this week anyway.