Zebra ends Gorilla’s football season

Pittsburg State’s Joe Windscheffel won’t be suiting up for the Gorillas this season after a zebra got bite-y with him. Windscheffel (pictured on the trading card on the right) was reportedly trying to move four zebras (a male and three females) so he could paint a fence. But the male zebra didn’t want to go, charged him, chomped down on his arm and wouldn’t let go, dragging the 6-foot-2, 225-pound linebacker/safety around until a couple of farm hands freed him. The zebra’s bite left Windscheffel’s forearm with a compound fracture and now a plate and six pins hold it all together. This is not a good omen.