You’re Nearly There, the Christian sex-ed book that advises you share wet dreams with your parents

Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do this for one reason: Knowledge is power.

You’re Nearly There: Christian Sex Education for Preteens

Author: Mary Kehle

Date: 1983

Publisher: Harold Shaw, Wheaton, Illinois

Discovered at: Olathe yard sale

The Cover Promises: You’re nearly there, so think about baseball. Also: Boys should wear shirts made of girls’ skirts. Also: It’s time for your Godly sex-talk, so bring the dog!

Representative Quote:

“Usually around twelve or thirteen, a boy will notice a ‘growth spurt’ and the penis and scrotum will grow larger and resemble those of his father.” (page 28).