WTF? Gwar’s Urungus Defeats Tracy Smothers

Let me attempt to explain this as best I can, because I follow professional wrestling, and something like this is beyond even my ability to rationalize. First off, Tracy Smothers is a real professional wrestler, and is probably best known for holding the ECW tag titles with Little Guido. Urungus is best known for fronting GWAR and violently dismembering audience members.

In an event asinine yet sublime, GWAR lead singer Oderus Urungus has claimed victory over world-famous wrestler Tracy Smothers in a match held last week at Schoenbaum Amphitheater in Charleston, W. Virginia.

“It wasn’t too hard…I just grabbed his neck, and choked. His eyeballs popped out of his skull. End of story,” said the well-hung shock-rocker.

Smothers corpse was quickly re-animated by the necrotic power of Oderus, and the two pledged to continue to wage their war as long as people “gave them money for it”.

“This is huge in Czechoslovakia,” said the still-bleeding Smothers.

There has been no word on the re-match.

This whole thing was part of an IWA East Coast event that took place on June 24. It was for the 40th birthday of IWA wrestler Madman Pondo. I can’t find any footage from it YouTube (somewhat surprisingly), so here’s Smothers wrestling a bear in 1989.

GWAR’s new album Lust In Space comes out August 18, and that’s the same day they start their two-year long 25th anniversary tour. Dates for the tour have yet to be announced, but they’ve been through here numerous times in the past few years, so KC is a pretty safe bet.