Wrestling Succotash’s 10-pound Sumo is a hefty task

When the Sumo arrived at my table on a sunny Sunday morning at Succotash, I felt like I’d just been sucker-punched. I’d seen the thing delivered to other tables (“All the Gravy,” Fat City, March 13), but even that failed to prepare me for how big it was.

I’d been warned about the gut-busting size of this breakfast behemoth, which contains eggs, peppers, onions, ham, potatoes and cheese wrapped in a giant pancake and topped with sausage gravy. It weighs 10 pounds, they told me. It takes two hands to carry. It makes grown men cry.

Whatever, I thought. How big can it really be? Besides, I’d taken all of the necessary precautions before attempting this food challenge: I didn’t eat all morning. I thought of names for my Sumo. I bought a cheap bathroom scale to weigh the thing. I even called the restaurant in advance because production of the Sumo momentarily consumes all of Succotash’s grill space. Still, I didn’t expect the dish to be that overwhelming.

I was, in a word, wrong. Its size was incomprehensible. Imagine the largest burrito you’ve ever eaten. Now imagine one that’s three times larger. The Sumo was bigger than that. It was larger than my cats and most human babies, about the size of a small body pillow or half of a rolled-up yoga mat. When our server brought it to the table, my heart rate sped up. I started giggling uncontrollably.

“Sumo!” he yelled, attracting the attention of the diners seated nearby. I had hoped to attempt this challenge in relative peace, but the Sumo might as well have come with its own flashing neon sign. Some people pulled out their phones to snap photos. More than one said I was crazy.

“You’re going to eat that?” one woman asked, looking either awestruck or nauseated.

“I’m going to try,” I said. I could feel myself start to sweat.

“I feel kind of sick just looking at it,” my boyfriend said – and this is a man who regularly eats 2,500 calories in one sitting and can spend upward of $15 at fast-food restaurants.

There was just one thing I had to know before I dug in: How much did it actually weigh? I pulled the scale out of my bag while my boyfriend held the Sumo. The dish’s special plate is larger than a manhole cover, and there was barely enough room on the table for my boyfriend’s breakfast and coffee, let alone a scale.

While several patrons and employees watched, I took the reading: With the plastic plate, the Sumo weighed 9 pounds. That’s heavier than the weights I lift at the gym. It’s about as much as a whole bag of groceries.

“And it’s usually bigger,” Succotash owner Beth Barden told me when she stopped by our table. “Normally there’s more gravy, and the pancake hangs off the side of the plate.”

It would have given me a headache to imagine this thing any larger, so instead I got to work. I grabbed my fork and ripped off a hunk of gravy-laden pancake. My taste buds lit up like a pinball machine – the Sumo was delicious. The potatoes, eggs and veggies were generously coated with melted cheddar cheese, and the warm ham was salty and savory.

Then there was the gravy. I normally don’t eat anything so rich, and the experience was similar to a midafternoon Law & Order marathon that turns into a four-hour nap: Once I started eating it, I realized that I never wanted to do anything else ever again.

But would I finish it and achieve immortality, along with the five other daring diners on Succotash’s wall of fame? In a word: No. I devoured maybe a quarter of it before my stomach started to ache.

According to our server, the Sumo starts expanding the moment it’s consumed because it’s mostly carbs. I could have kept shoveling it in, but I was acutely aware that it was physically impossible for me to eat the entire thing. I didn’t want to turn something so delicious into a gastrointestinal nightmare, so I humbly put down my fork.

Stuffed though I was, I couldn’t stop raving about the gravy, so our server recommended that next time I try the “burrito of love,” which has all of the goodness of the Sumo for a normal-size appetite. It would be a couple of days before I needed to purchase another meal, though. We cut the leftover Sumo into thirds, leaving enough for at least four more meals.

Fortunately, Succotash is as generous with to-go boxes as it is with sausage gravy.