Around KC, you can literally buy half a cow — and it’s cheaper and more humane than how you’re used to buying meat
Self-aware meat-eaters have little choice but to navigate an uncomfortable reality when we travel to the grocery store. The experience is an ethical minefield — and particularly so when it comes to beef. An insatiable appetite for inexpensive beef, both here in the U.S. and across the globe, has given rise to factory farming of cattle. It is no secret that this is an unpleasant enterprise. Factory farming has long been associated with wretched living (and dying) conditions for the animals, as well as highly dangerous conditions for the slaughterhouse workers, many of them immigrants. Then there are the environmental impacts, which range from the local (see: the recent CAFO that threatens to harm Powell Gardens) to the global (methane from cow farts is a major contributor to the rise in global temperatures, a fact that would be hilarious were it not destroying our planet).
We know, we know. Just stop eating beef (or pork, for that matter). But a simple truth remains: steak is just so damn good.
So are burgers.
And slow-cooked brisket.
And pot roast.
And so on. Think about what your mouth does when you so much as drive by Arthur Bryant’s. Our natural appetite for beef is primal.
If you’re not going to give up meat altogether, there is one other way to buy beef that minimizes environmental impacts, ensures the more humane treatment and slaughter of animals, and promotes safer, clean workplaces for industry workers. You also end up with some of the highest-quality product available, custom-cut to your desires. And it’s cheaper.
How? You literally walk into a store and order a half a cow.
Colloquially, it’s known as buying a “half beef.” Some people also call it “a side.” You can do this at a couple places in the Kansas City area, including Paradise Locker, in Trimble (just north of Smithville), and Bichelmeyer Meats, in KCK.
“We’ll take them [customers] in the cooler and we’ll pick out [a cow] which we think is best suited to their needs,” says Matt Bichelmeyer. “Then we bring it out on the table and cut it to their specifications.”
Questions they’ll ask you: What kinds of cuts do you want? Do you want your meat to be bone-in or boneless? Do you want more roasts, or more steak?
Paradise Locker supplies meats not just to KC restaurants (Corvino, Black Dirt, and the Rieger among them) but to some of the best-known restaurants in the country, including David Chang’s Momofuku spots and Lidia Bastianich’s Del Posto in New York. But regular-old You can also buy cows from Paradise, though owner Nick Fantasma recommends first picking up the phone.
“A customer can just give us a call and let us know that they are interested in purchasing a side, quarter, or whole beef,” Fantasma explains. “Our farmers” — which are all located within one hours’ drive of Paradise’s Trimble facility — “typically have beef available throughout the year, but you might have a little bit of a wait time, depending on when the order is placed.” All beef raised by Paradise’s farmers is naturally raised, without the use of any added growth hormones or antibiotics. Grass fed and finished beef is also available.
Bichelmeyer sources the majority of its beef from its own ranch, located in Williamsburg, Kansas, between Ottawa and Emporia. It typically keeps 600-800 head of Angus at the ranch at any given time. This cattle is grass-fed and corn-finished before slaughter at Bichelmeyer’s facility in KCK. As at Paradise Locker, butchers at Bichelmeyer then hang the carcasses to age for over two weeks, letting natural enzymes begin to break down muscle tissue, making the meat more tender and flavorful.
At Paradise Locker, once the customer has selected the meat he or she wants, the animal will be cut down to the customer’s specifications. This can add up to anywhere from 100 to 400 pounds of beef after all the cuts are packed. Then everything is frozen to ensure freshness.
Customers at Bichelmeyer can also have their meat frozen, or they can leave the facility with it as-is and freeze themselves. Matt Bichelmeyer notes that the meat is good for up to two years, though for best flavor he recommends consuming the beef within around one year, which is about, he explains, as long as it takes a family of four to consume a half beef.
So yes, this is undoubtedly a lot of meat — more than you’ve likely ever imagined having at your house at one time. A half beef at Bichelmeyer’s will likely include the following: 14 ribeyes, 8 sirloins, 16 porterhouse/t-bone steaks, 10 round steaks, one flank steak, eight arm/chuck roasts, eight boneless roasts, and 60-80 pounds of ground beef. A quarter beef is essentially getting half of this, though customers can also opt for different cuts from specific quarters (roasts from the front quarter, and steaks from the hind quarter, for example).
Does this all sound expensive? It is — but only up front. The average half beef, whether from Paradise, Bichelmeyer, or another provider, will likely cost somewhere between $1,000-$1,500, depending on the type and weight of the cow you choose. A quarter beef will run about half of that cost. This breaks down to anywhere from $10-$30 per week. That’s a lot to spend on beef in one fell swoop. But you’re buying at a flat price per pound. That’s where the savings come in.
“You’re talking about $3.50 a pound,” explains Bichelmeyer, “versus buying an individual steak at up to $15-$16 per pound, or more.” (At Kansas City Price Chopper stores, for example, ground beef runs about $3.99 a pound, and grass-fed beef is $6 a pound. Ribeyes go for $14-$18 per pound.)
The advantages, however, go beyond price.
“A big advantage [over grocery store products] is that you know exactly where your beef is coming from,” says Fantasma. “We have all info as far as what farm the animal came from, how it was raised, what it was fed, and, of course, where it was processed. There’s full traceability all the way through that animal’s life when you’re dealing with a small custom processor.”
And, says Fantasma: “Not only are you supporting a local, family-owned business with the meat processor, you’re supporting a small family farm.”
Also: this is an unconventional shopping experience. A final word of advice: bring a hairnet.
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