We’ve Got a Boat Show, at Least, and Terrorists Hate Our Flatulence
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By CHRIS PACKHAM
• Good news for fans of shitty customer service: New Sprint CEO Dan Hesse is planning to cut thousands of jobs in a reported effort to impress the company’s shareholders. This is the MBA equivalent of beating up the biggest guy you can find on your first day in the slammer so that everyone knows not to fuck with you. Note: This also works in the Grand Slam parking lot. Oh, yeah — Cerner laid off 152 people yesterday.
• Jenée Osterheldt has a new headshot.
• The Southern Christian Leadership Conference has pulled its planned 2008 national convention from Kansas City. But there’s totally excellent news on the racial insensitivity front: The Mid-America Boat Show, still scheduled for February 21, is undeterred by Funkhouser’s stubborn support for Frances Semler and his wife’s alleged interoffice racial stereotyping. So there’s that.
• The terrorists apparently hate us for our taquitos and our robust postprandial farting. Somebody is leaving suspicious packages near businesses in Independence; police found one outside QuikTrip.
• A guy died of what appears to be Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease at Wesley Medical Center in Wichita — no word about whether it’s Chronic Wasting Disease or Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy, the terrifying celebutante of infectious misfolded proteins, known by the more sexxxy, mediagenic name Mad Cow Disease. According to the article, “one to two people per million have a spontaneous case of CJD each year, according to the CDC.” That’s comforting.
• KMBZ used to keep anchor Larry Moore in a weird little wood-paneled biopod:
