Weekend Events Roundup, by An Adorable Kitten

Hello! My name is Scout. I am an American short-hair kitten, and I love to pounce on things! Among the things I enjoy attacking: your feet under the blankets, jingle mice from the pet store, other kittens and houseflies. I like to swat at them with my tiny little paws. My owner is named Chris, and he is always coming and going. Tonight, he is going to see Time Bandits, Terry Gilliam’s 1981 comedy about an English boy who has exciting adventures with a group of diminutive time travelers! It’s screening at 8:45 p.m. at the Central Branch of the Kansas City Public Library, 14 West 10th Street, as part of the Off the Wall Film Series.

While he’s gone, I’ll be injecting 300 milligrams of Clomid, 20 milligrams of Nolva and .25 miligrams of L-Dex directly into my cute little scapular deltoid muscles. I use anti-estrogens for two weeks before I start the cycle to avoid the worst side effects. The clomiphene citrate stimulates testosterone production, because anabolic steroid use suppresses my little testosterone cycle! In three weeks, I’ll be sheathed in lean muscle bulk!