Waterboy Watch, week 7: Gavin Newsom is too pretty for Funk

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When I read this headline on ESPN, “Philadelphia Eagels’ Brian Westbrook (concussion) leaves game,” I knew Mayor Mark Funkhouser‘s fantasy football team was screwed.

Funk needed a rally led by Westbrook (13 yards) and Washington running back Clinton Portis (43 yards) to beat San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom‘s BarbaryCoast Bombers. He got five points. Out of both. So Funk’s Footballers fell, 108-87.

Even a monster game out of Tony Romo (311 yards and three touchdowns) and the Indianapolis defense couldn’t save the Funk. Newsom absolutely crushed him, powered by Peyton Manning (235 yards passing and three touchdowns), Chad Ochocinco (118 yards receiving and two touchdowns) and Vernon Davis (93 yards receiving).

Funk’s Footballers are now 3-4, which is good enough for ninth place. Things don’t get easier. Next week, Funk meets the second best team in the league, Buffalo’s Best, which is run by Buffalo Mayor Byron Brown.

Photo illustration by Zachary Trover.