Water slide reminds Channel 5 how Poltergeist ended

KCTV Channel 5’s scary voice terrified the shit out of us for a couple of days, promoting a freaky-ass story. “Hundreds of bodies,” the raspy voice said as the screen flashed like something out of The Ring. “What makes it even more haunting is what’s built right next door.” Oh, my God. Hundreds of bodies. Where could they be?

Uh, how about a cemetery?

Of course, KCTV didn’t bring the fright and totally sexed up the promo. But Jedi knight Ash-har Quraishi delivered a really interesting piece on the history of the Wyandotte County Cemetery and its new neighbor, Schlitterbahn water park.

The gist: Nearly 80 years’ worth of records are missing, meaning we don’t know where some of the bodies are buried and who they were. WyCo’s Unified Government claims they’re pretty damned sure that none of the graves are inside the water park’s construction grounds. If there are any bodies there, Schlitterbahn is supposed to tell the county. No word yet. But if you see a dirty guy floating in the pool, you best poke it with a stick.

Photo courtesy of Find A Grave.com