Vandals
In 1994, the Vandals released one of history’s most amusing concert albums. Playing for a hostile, heckling crowd that had come to see headliners the Offspring, the group baited homophobes, played “find the candy in my pants,” butchered Elvis Presley, Ricky Nelson and Grease soundtrack tunes and delivered an extensive warning about the dangers of driving while masturbating. Sweating to the Oldies was more than a comedy record, though, thanks mostly to brilliantly blurred rehashings of clown-punk classics. An earlier model Vandals had written these songs, and as the new members sped them up with a savage smile, they closed an era while confidently announcing their arrival.
Alongside original Vandal Joe Escalante, there’s now session star Josh Freese on drums, flamboyant guitarist Warren Fitzgerald, and frontman Dave Quackenbash, who exudes the persona of a sociopathic game-show host. The group seldom performs any Oldies these days, but it occasionally flashes the goofy charm of its previous incarnation. For their second live recording, the Vandals videotaped their fifth annual Christmas concert, filled mostly with selections from the band’s seasonally centered 1996 Oi! to the World effort. (Fans continually request nonholiday fare, triggering Quackenbush’s withering sarcasm and antagonistic quips.)
The bouncy title track, which No Doubt covered and popularized, and the jolly, fat power ballad “Christmas Time for My Penis” deserve prime placement under the tree, but plenty of selections elicit oh-great-a-yellow-sweater shrugs from the crowd. (“I think there’s a lot of Jewish people here tonight,” Quackenbush theorizes after one number falls flat.) The group mocks the elderly, assigns a pornographic concept to every letter in Christmas and lampoons post-op transsexuals, but the results feel more obvious than naughty. The DVD’s audio commentary delivers another empty gift box; the Vandals substitute burps and sarcastic sing-alongs for useful content. Still, the group’s members obviously went to a lot of trouble, dressing in tuxedos and introducing a tuba and keyboards to the mix, so they deserve that most compassionate of rejections: “Thanks, but you shouldn’t have.”
