Unplanned Unemployment

On the same day that the Pitch released its June 8 issue with an article on the effort to legalize marijuana entitled “High Above the Law,” one of the minor players in the piece got called into the human resources department of her employer.

She says the HR woman broke the news: “It’s been brought to our attention that you’re an active proponent of marijuana. This relationship isn’t going to work.” The company didn’t want to be connected with such a controversial effort.

It may sound like a reasonable — probably an expected — reaction for a Fortune 500 company.

But the employer is Planned Parenthood.

The Pitch‘s source asked that her name not be printed again to avoid her getting permanently stigmatized. “I’m afraid I won’t ever get a job again,” says the woman, who asked that the Pitch use her alias, Ganja Mama.

Well, we called Ganja Mama’s former employer, Planned Parenthood of Kansas and Mid-Missouri, but president and CEO Peter Brownlie said he can’t comment on personnel matters. Speaking generally, he said employees are allowed to take part in politics. “We have a number of people who are politically active as volunteers in various capacities,” he said.

Ganja Mama says she was only in her fifth day of work at Planned Parenthood when she got the shaft. She had been hired to work as an educator — traveling to schools and other events — and was working in the Overland Park administrative office. She had been on a 90-day trial period, which allows the women’s clinic to fire her for any reason.

Ganja Mama says at this point, she doesn’t want her job back. “You have to think twice at working at a place,” she says, “that would fire you for your political beliefs.”

Bike Shorts

Bicyclists who took part in the Biking Across Kansas event got a surprise at the finish line, and it wasn’t Sheryl Crow with a bottle of bubbly. No, it was a stomach bug that left ’em losing it from both ends. Working with the Kansas Department of Health and Environment, the Pitch has identified possible reasons for the mass infection:

Offering handlebar rides to straggling, filthy hippies from Wakarusa.

Rampant swapping of bicycle seats mid-ride.

The El Forasteros outlaw motorcycle club spiking Gatorade with rat piss.

Jealous Missouri tourism officials, still stinging over Kansas winning a national award for its “Kansas: Bigger Than You Think” campaign.

Riders sharing Power Bars via mouth like gum-swapping teenagers.

FEMA