Unbearable, Continued

Now that butt-ugly fiberglass bears officially blight the Plaza, Crown Center, the Liberty Memorial and other landmarks around town, we continue our mourning over the demise of good taste in Kansas City. Who allowed this invasion of Hallmarky tripe to torture us in the name of philanthropy?

There’s plenty of blame to go around, but this week we celebrate the contribution of The Kansas City Star, which has “sponsored” four of the hideous blobs. The paper is selling bear hunter’s guidebooks ($9.95), ballcaps ($15.95), T-shirts ($12.95-$17.95) and “All A-Bear-Ican” sweatshirts ($39.95). Some of the proceeds go to charity.

And because it bears repeating, we now reprint, word for word, the unsigned piece that appeared on the paper’s editorial page on July 1:

We could bearly contain our excitement. Luckily, we no longer have to. The March of the Teddy Bears commences this week in Kansas City.

The 150 cleverly designed bears appearing throughout the area seem to have personalities of their own. There’s King Tut Bear, Flag Bear, Too Pawl Bear, and Teddy Gonzalez Bear, just to name a few.

These bears are expected to be more than a fun tourism draw for Kansas City this summer. They also have a serious side. Proceeds from bear sponsorship and auction sales will benefit the Children’s Mercy Hospital and the Toy & Miniature Museum. Many area businesses, including The Star, are supporting these worthy institutions through the bear display.

If this latest exhibit is anything like the Cows on Parade campaign, residents and visitors alike should take to them right away. They’ll be the subject of many photographs and the objects of great affection from grandmas to toddlers. Bear hug, anyone?

Who wrote this crap? Could it have been editorial-page editor Miriam Pepper, who spent enough time as readers’ representative to know drivel when she sees it? Did someone have the ill-sense to pull Yael Abouhalkah away from his duties deconstructing City Hall’s budget? Was it grouchy ol’ Tom McClanahan?

Trudy Hurley, who has the unenviable job of answering the phone for the editorial board, tells us it was Rhonda Chriss Lokeman. Whom we assume is totally em-bear-assed.