Top Ten Reasons to Bring the Supersonics to KC

The Kansas City Star reports that the Supersonics are in very, very preliminary talks about moving, possibly to Kansas City. We know we’ve been abused before by moving teams — we’re talking to you, Pittsburgh. But just in case, here are some reasons we’d like to see the Kansas City Supersonics:

10. Using an umlaut to spell Mickaël Gelabale.

9. Jesus Shuttlesworth is coming to town (Sonics guard Ray Allen starred in He Got Game).

8. Squatch!

7. Gives us a reason to play that song “Supersonic,” by overlooked 1980’s girl-group J.J.Fad (the original song, not the one by Fergie).

6. Something to be excited about now that baseball season is already over. Oh, it isn’t? Damn.

5. Robert Swift will automatically be the ugliest man in KC.

4. Former Jayhawk Nick Collison can come back and hit on chicks at all his old Lawrence hangouts.

3. We don’t have to take back the Kings.

2. Sonics legend Shawn Kemp can visit his alleged illegitimate children in KC.

1. No fucking hockey!

— Justin Kendall and Nadia Pflaum