Top 10 not necessarily sports-related things that happened at Super Bowl 58

A Dunkin’ Donuts commercial that Matt Damon seems nonplussed about participating in.

Facts are facts—games like yesterday’s epic, nail-biter win were probably the reason defibrillators were invented. But, if you’re like me, you don’t watch the big game for the athleticism, rivalries, and team tenacity—you probably watch it for the must-see entertainment. The commercials, the celeb cutaways, streakers, and other sundry items. 

Without further ado are the Top 10 Not Necessarily Sports-Related Things That Happened at Super Bowl 58:

10) The A Quiet Place: Day One trailer was scary AF

Just as the game was getting going, Paramount unleashed a vicious, little vignette about aliens—who are attracted to sound—obliterating the earth. The film stars Oscar-winner Lupita Nyong’o, who plays an unwitting character who appears to be playing Joe Tourist in New York City when the monsters arrive. The ensuing onslaught(er) looks pretty gnarly. The movie—and aliens—land in theaters in late June.

9) Taylor Swift chugs a beer!

The blondiful pop-tart was in her sorority era for most of the game yesterday. At one point, she emphatically and enthusiastically chugged a beer and slammed the can on the table in her luxury suite. The only thing better is if she would have crushed it on her forehead. Or Blake Lively’s forehead. Bless. 

8) Ben Affleck’s Dunkin’ Commercial – Part Duh

Did you know the Oscar-winner raked in a mind-blowing $10 million for his Dunkin-centric Super Bowl commercial last year? (That’s according to CNN.) Well, he was back this year alongside his wife JLo, his bestie Matt Damon, and sportsballer Tom Brady for some sort of rap-off audition or hip-hop boy band brigade. (Sorry, the sound was down. I’m going solely by the visuals.) While it didn’t inspire me to buy donuts, I would like to get my mitts on his embroidered pink/orange jumpsuit. It looked hella-comfy—and now that Ben is in his early 50s—that takes priority. 

7) Temu must have more money than several small countries combined.

Temu—the hyper-low price Chinese shopping ap—ran the same spot repeatedly during the Super Bowl. At $7 million a pop for thirty seconds, you’d think they would have upped the ante instead of repeating the same uninspired, animated commercial. Head-scratcher. It ranked lowest on many ad-watcher websites. And it even scored some scathing commentary from the Washington Post: “Just the same lame ad, over and over.”

6) How do we keep Jason Kelce omnipresent?

The shirtless wonder continues to amaze and impress by being everything, everywhere all at once. (Get him to host SNL, stat!) He was spotted at Adele’s Vegas concert a few days before the game lovingly bellowing at the singer from his VIP spot. Naturally, he screamed “Eagles!!” during Adele’s poll about Super Bowl fans in her audience. She shot back that he sounded like a “drunk football fan.” And TMZ spied him “hootin’ and hollerin'” whilst gambling at a craps table at a Vegas casino. But it was his checkerboard-esque yellow and red plaid overalls yesterday that really made us realize that he’s truly a fashion icon.

5) Ice Spice looked perpetually confused. Allegedly.

Maybe she didn’t understand the game. Maybe she didn’t realize the magnitude of where she was. Maybe she didn’t know cameras would constantly pan to her 87 times in the suite box. Either way, she nearly always looked flummoxed or poised to ask a question. Bless her meme-worthy heart. 

4) Reba is a national treasure.

When the country crooner was singing the national anthem, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house—figuratively or literally. Naturally, we were fixated on perfectly (and perpetually) coiffed hair. Fun fact: while Reba has never admitted to wearing wigs on stage or television, she hasn’t denied it either. Only her hairstylist knows for sure.

3) Alicia Keys and that one note.

I’m not hear, er, here to enrage Alicia’s fandom … but she hit quite a sour note early on in her halftime performance. Or was it just me? Or was it supposed to sound like that? Or were the auto-tuners sleeping? Or … ?

2) A non-comprehensive rundown of celebs at Super Bowl 58.

It was the most random smattering of celebs ever grouped together—uh, randomly. Jeff Goldblum. Jelly Roll. Luis Fonsi. Jay-Z. Guy Fieri. Hometown boys Paul Rudd and Eric Stonestreet. Lana Del Rey. Elon Musk. Wayne Newton. Justin Bieber. Carrot Top. Paul McCartney (who caused Taylor Swift to have a fan-girl moment.) Beyonce and Lady Gaga (which is the probably the closest the gays will ever get to a “Telephone” sequel.)

1) To bet or not to be—that is the question.

Did you make a bet on the game? Sure, you could bet on totals, point spreads, and moneylines, but why be lame? Here are some befuddling other betting options that are typically only available during the Super Bowl. Length of the national anthem. Will Gatorade get dumped on the winning coach? Will “scorigami” happen? Referring to any final score that has never happened before in NFL history. And, most importantly, what will Tay-Tay be wearing?