Tonya Green hit with three felony charges for setting her boyfriend on fire

Here’s another good reason to run your next date’s name through the Missouri online court system. KC’s Tonya M. Green, 44, is probably newly single now that she’s been hit with three felony charges — including two counts of assault in the first degree and one count of armed criminal action — because she lit her boyfriend of four years on fire during an argument.

Before you submit a fire-related pun to the comments section, remember that this poor guy sustained burns over 60 percent of his body. According to Slate, that gives off an odor of charcoal and musky sweetness along with being extremely, horribly painful. So your fire joke better be really fucking funny. Dick.

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