This Weeks Day-by-Day Picks

Thursday, April 3, 2003

The trouble with romance these days is that no one is ever stealing away for a moment of privacy. In Shakespeare’s time, any couple worth reading about was forever slinking in and out of the shadows, out of necessity or just as a fun pastime. Alas, today there are few roadblocks to intimacy. Balconies were once for whispering to lovers; now they’re for flashing drunkards who yell “show ’em, we’ll throw ’em.” Modern cubicle captives have attempted to remedy the problem with “the nooner,” but the seen-it-all-and-don’t-care attitude of the collective consciousness renders lame any shot at being sneaky. With “Shakespeare in the Closet,” KU English professor David Bergeron — an internationally recognized authority on the playwright — reveals how ideas of privacy have changed over time by examining the literal and metaphorical “closets” of Shakespeare’s world. This free installment of the Humanities Lecture Series starts at 7:30 p.m. at the Spencer Museum of Art (1301 Mississippi Street in Lawrence, 785-864-4710).

Friday, April 4, 2003

Anyone who thinks bird-watching is boring has never watched prairie chickens getting it on. Every year around April, male prairie chickens assemble before dawn to stake out and defend their little territories; once the randy ladies arrive to cruise for dudes, males do their best Lord of the Dance impressions, running in place while they stretch their bodies and drag their wings through the grass. The loverboys then cock forward, erecting hornlike feathers on their heads; for the great climax, the males draw air into sacs the size of oranges (vocal sacs) and start “booming” Barry White noises that carry more than a mile on a calm morning. And to think human males expect to get lucky just by purchasing a cheap cocktail. The Grassland Heritage Foundation leaves today for southern Kansas, where bird-watchers will sleep (or mate) on a ranch for $35 to $75 a night and return Sunday. To reserve a spot, call 913-829-0037.

Saturday, April 5, 2003

Righty Bridey wears striped toe socks and an endearingly dreamy expression, which would charm her fellow printmaking students if she weren’t always asking them for money. (She is very, very afraid of addition, subtraction and, in turn, her checkbook.) Lefty Larry wears a tie on Saturday and gets his rocks off by alphabetizing his CD collection, the selections within which are arbitrary because, well, he doesn’t really get music. If you bump into Bridey or Larry, pass the word about the Higher Self Alignment Circle, in which an expert in Huna Kane (a Hawaiian spiritual healing practice) uses touch to open the connection between people’s right and left brain hemispheres. The group session, from 9 to 11 a.m. at Crescent Springs Healing Center (7913 Santa Fe Drive in Overland Park), costs $22. Call 913-341-2044 for reservations.

Happy Tartan Day! St. Patrick’s Day is sooooo last month. Tomorrow is the official, U.S. Senate-stamped date for getting drunk in honor of Scottish-American culture. Bags will be piping in celebration at Molloy Brothers (1020 Westport Road) during the release party for Tullamore‘s Winter Storm II. Tullamore, a Kansas City-based quartet that tours the festival circuit with traditional Celtic music, recorded its latest CD live at the annual Winter Storm concert at Community Christian Church in January. Hear the encore from 7 to 10 p.m. for $10. For information call 816-753-5207. To get started early, head to Loose Park (52nd Street and Wornall Road) between noon and 3 p.m. to picnic among people dancing and sword-fighting. For information on that, call 816-361-4003.

You know the exploding-head scene on The Daily Show‘s introductory montage? The source of the clip, Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky, offers even more impressively gratuitous violence, including several disembowelments and a crucifixion scene, as our superhuman hero performs obligatory dead-girlfriend avenging. The movie, presented by the Chucky Lou AV Club, shows at midnight at the Top Two Theater (5909 Johnson Drive in Mission). Tickets cost $6. For information, call 816-471-1190.

Sunday, April 6, 2003

Not since Tai Bo’s late-’90s takeover of the fitness video section has a quasi-martial art garnered as much buzz as Krav Maga. But whereas Billy Blanks taught followers to flutter about aerobics rooms with mean looks on their faces, Krav Maga is more suitable for judo-chopping in dark alleys. Based on the street-fighting techniques honed by a Jewish Slovakian during World War II, Krav Maga now is used by the Israeli military, the FBI and Jennifer Lopez in Enough. Learn the serious self-defense art at the Complete Combat Seminar, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the Krav Maga and Fitness Center (7844 Quivira Road in Lenexa, 913-248-9696) for $149.

Monday, April 7, 2003

The Cultures Without Borders art exhibit, which highlights diversity as well as similarities among Kansas City’s ethnic communities, is at UMB Bank (6400 Independence Avenue) this month. Meander around the lobby over your lunch break to see work submitted by local artists aiming to interpret their own cultures. For information, call 816-231-0016.

Tuesday, April 8, 2003

Spider-Man Live! opens today at the Music Hall (301 West 13th Street), to the delight of children and comic-book devotees experiencing withdrawal after last week’s Comicon. This interpretation mimics the plot of the gazillion-dollar-grossing movie, right down to the radioactive spider that turned Tobey Maguire into beefcake. Spidey, Mary Jane and the Green Goblin go on at noon. For tickets, which cost $18.50 to $29.50, call 816-931-3330.

Wednesday, April 9, 2003

Picture the Red Hot Chili Peppers as a Japanese punk-metal band, and you’ve got yourself Electric Eel Shock. OK, well, the only thing the two bands have in common is that both have been known to perform wearing nothing but strategically placed tube socks. Oh, and Electric Eel Shock’s members don’t speak much English. But you will get their drift when they speak the language of the power chord. The quasi-hardcore, Black Sabbath-loving rockers perform an all-ages show at 7 p.m. at El Torreon (31st and Gillham) with Pixel Panda and An Emergency. For information, call 816-419-7278.