There’s no normal response for some tragedies

As last week’s feature, “Stop Hugging Us,” showed, people’s responses to trauma are so personal and unique that it’s impossible to tailor a one-size-fits-all treatment to help them deal with their pain.

Most often, you’re best to just stay out of the way.

If there’s one thing doctors have learned, it’s that you can’t always anticipate human needs. Even if they seem obvious.

When Hurricane Andrew hit south Florida in 1992, Dr. Richard Gist of Kansas City helped with the recovery effort. Part of the job was making sure people — many now homeless — had the essentials.

“You end up doing this thing they call the ‘FEMA salute’ when you realize all the obvious things you missed,” Gist says, and slaps his palm against his forehead.

In that case, relief workers didn’t realize until about a week into the

recovery they’d failed to provide people with one, important item.

“There

was a big demand for condoms,” Gist says. “And then you realize the

lady of the house usually handled birth control in most cases, and now

they couldn’t just go to a pharmacy to get whatever contraceptive they

used. A lot of them didn’t want to ask because it was personal,” Gist adds. “So

we started throwing condoms in every bag of supplies we sent out so no

one would have to ask for them.”