The sex mag for perv-hating real Americans: Studies in Crap toasts Male Annual

Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do this for one reason: Knowledge is power.

maleannualcover.jpg

Male Annual

Date: 1971

Discovered at: Brass Armadillo Antique Mall, Grain Valley, MO

The Cover Promises:
Swamp nymphs, rapist bikers, Nazi bordellos, and, for the fetishist, “A Florida Dirt Farmer’s Terrifying Ordeal: ‘Coyotes Are Breaking Into Our Homes!'”

Representative Quotes:

  • “The girl turned and smiled, her voluptuous breasts beating a pulsating cadence under the pink gown she wore. She walked to the mattress and knealt in front of him, revealing her inviting nipples.” (page 72).

  • “Harry was surprised at himself for stopping. He had long ago learned and had since lived by the age-old adage — no woman means it when she says ‘no’ in any form or manner.” (page 68).

By the early 1970s, the sweats — or men’s adventure magazines— had to start putting out.

Just as that demure pioneer Playboy led stroke-mag readers to the pinker pastures of Penthouse, and then to a sort of manifest destiny with the spread-eagled horizons Hustler, so too the lusty tall-tales of men’s adventure magazines of the ’50s and ’60s — “Man-Hungry Hussy of She-Devil Island!”; “Terror if the All Girl Posse and Their Necktie Parties” — gave way to the raw, unimaginative grind of this Male Annual.

Gone are the “true” stories of pirate queens and panther goddesses. Instead, the lead article here is”I Star in Those Wild ‘Turn On’ Movies,” a grim blow-by-blow of life on the set of one of the very movies killing magazines like this one. Reading it, your Crap Archivist couldn’t help but wonder: Why would the American he-man read about ladyparts when every city in the country now had a theater where he could watch them?

While spiced with topless photos the publishers wouldn’t have dared just a few years before, the porn-girl article holds to the men’s adventure tradition of peddling sadism while still denouncing it. “Photogenic and bosomy” actress April Johnson gets to the rough stuff just a couple paragraphs in.

Categories: News